‘Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.’ – Ephesians 6:4.

Exasperate means to frustrate or annoy greatly. And although he directs his command to fathers, mothers are included – because it’s not alright for them to exasperate their kids! What do we as parents do that exasperates our kids? Let me suggest 6 areas:

Hypocrisy – “Don’t ****** use that sort of language with me,” I once heard a mum say to her daughter! That’s hypocrisy. When we tolerate and justify faults in ourselves, but not in our kids, that exasperates them. Often when we see our own faults in our kids we can be more severe on them because we hate the reminder that that is what we are like.

Inconsistency – One day we correct them for doing something, later we ignore them doing the same thing. One day something is ok, the next day the same thing is a major crime. Or maybe we don’t like to set too many boundaries. That’s harmful; children need to know where the limits are. Otherwise we are messing with their sense of right and wrong, and frustrating the life out of them in the process.

Too high expectations – Do we expect a 5 year old to behave as a 10 year old? Or a 13 year old to think/behave like a man? Are we seeking to live our dreams through them? Maybe she doesn’t want to do the gymnastics that we always wished we had done.

Same expectations – Each child is an individual, with different tastes and interests. To treat them as if they were identical can lead to frustration on their part. Do we take time to get to know our kids and what makes them tick?

No encouragement – Are we always faultfinding, but never seeking things to praise? Or perhaps we aren’t faultfinding, but we aren’t encouraging either. If a child puts effort into some idea and comes looking for our praise and gets none, they go away crushed and disheartened.

Neglect – Not just the ‘no food, no care’ type of neglect, but the neglect that goes on in well-to-do homes where mummy and daddy are so busy working, or relaxing that young children become frustrated because they don’t get to see mum and dad as much as they would like to.

God commands us as parents not to exasperate our kids. What should we do if we have been guilty of this? Thankfully we can come to God and seek forgiveness for it, and ask him to help us as we try to bring our children up and show them how to live.

Mark Loughridge is the minister of Milford Reformed Presbyterian Church. He can be contacted on 074 9123961 or mark@milfordrpc.org. You can read more or listen online at www.milfordrpc.org

In a book of the Bible called Ephesians, Paul writes a couple of verses that were directed at parents and children. Given the importance of getting it right as parents, I thought we could look at some of the lessons found there. Paul writes,

‘Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.’ – Ephesians 6:4.

The verse specifically singles out fathers because he expects them to take the lead in the home, and not abdicate responsibility as they often do. Yet Paul’s instructions include mothers too.

Why is parenting important in God’s sight? It is important because parents have a massive responsibility – not just the physical care of their children, but because they are setting the spiritual compass of their children’s lives. Your beliefs and values will be the first that they adopt as their own. What a sobering thought it is to think of our children standing on the Day of Judgment and saying, “Dad, Mum, why didn’t you tell me any of this stuff?”

Why does God care what sort of fathers we are? Because dads in particular have an extremely high calling – we are called to be a picture of what God is like. When I read in the Bible that God is like a father my mind fills with images of a loving, protecting, disciplining, passionate father like my own. Unfortunately I know that there are those who have a very different image of a father – absent or abusive, unloving or angry, inconsistent or volatile. How will God the Father treat those who have blackened his portrait to their children? Your children’s idea of God as father is shaped hugely by their own father. How much do you fathers try to reflect godly qualities to your children? Did you realise that this was your job?

So fathers, you and I are to take our lead, not from society, nor even our own fathers, but we are to care for our families as God cares for his. To do so we need to know personally how he deals with his children – that can only come about when we ask him to bring us into his family through Jesus. Then not only will we experience the perfect father’s love and care first hand, but we will find him giving us the strength to demonstrate his fatherliness to our own children.

Mark Loughridge is the minister of Milford Reformed Presbyterian Church. He can be contacted on 074 9123961 or mark@milfordrpc.org. You can read more or listen online at www.milfordrpc.org

The sound of silence, rather than the throaty roar of engines and the screech of tyres, settled over Donegal a couple of weekends ago. The final stages of the rally were cancelled as a mark of respect following the tragic death of Thomas Maguire from Co Meath, on the Knockalla stage on the Saturday.

That was the right and proper decision, I applaud the organisers for again having the decency to put respect for life before the spectacle of the event, and my sympathies go out to the Maguire family.

That Sunday evening in our fellowship we were considering the Bible’s teaching that God has given us Sunday, or the Lord’s Day, as a day to be set aside for him. He gives us that command for our physical and spiritual welfare. Since he made us, he knows best how we should live, and he knows that our ultimate joy is to be found in relationship with him. That’s why he calls us to set aside a day for spending time with him. It allows us to refocus and to recalibrate our thinking from the events of this world, with its passing joys, to the ultimate joy of knowing God, the maker of all joy.

As such, God is not attempting to be a spoilsport when he calls us to give one day to him, instead his concern is for our happiness.

Whenever Adam and Eve rebelled against God they broke this relationship for all of us. It took the intervention of Jesus, his death on the cross, to restore the possibility of this ultimate peace and joy to mankind. And because of his great triumph, although the Jews had been commanded to keep the seventh day sacred, the focus shifted to the first day, the day of Jesus’ resurrection, to help us remember his death and victory.

Something in us knows that in the face of tragedy, a rest from the regular activity is appropriate, as the events of the rally demonstrate. We rest to honour and to commemorate the person and their life. How much more is it appropriate then to rest when the person is not just human, but divine, and his life was lost in order that we might live, and his greatest goal in giving his life was that we might enjoy a right relationship with God. And if the earthly pinnacle of that relationship is found in giving a day to specifically enjoy this relationship with God, what are we saying to Jesus when we just continue with our own pleasure instead?

The rally organisers didn’t trample the memory of Thomas Maguire, but too often we trample over the very day given to remember Jesus and what his life, death and resurrection mean.

It’s finally here. The moment men all over the country have been waiting for. The 2010 World Cup is about to kick off. Football fans across the world eagerly hope that their country will triumph. Girlfriends and wives worldwide resign themselves, once again, to being relegated to second place throughout the competition. Economists expect that each English goal after the group stage will benefit the economy by £126 million, and if they make it to the final, a whopping £2 billion.

As if there wasn’t a high enough burden of expectation on the poor boys’ shoulders, they have to save the economy too!

It will be interesting to watch how the drive for World Cup success will impact players and fans. I’m old enough to remember the ’82 finals and desperate Algerian fans waving money at German and Austrian players who played a mockery of a final group game, ensuring that they both went through and Algeria went out. Sportsmanship will be sacrificed. Players previously regarded for their skill or honesty will throw it aside because winning means more—we all remember Thierry Henry and Diego Maradona for the wrong reasons. We’ll see players dive, fall over, and roll around crying in a manner that would embarrass most girls, in an effort to gain penalties and free kicks.

All in the pursuit of success.

Perhaps too, you remember the tragic case of Andrés Escobar, a Colombian player, who was shot and killed after his own goal in ’94, which caused gambling losses to several powerful drug lords.

All in the name of the Cup.

Of course it would be all too easy to point the finger at these overpaid, over-groomed stars of the ‘world’s greatest game’. For something drives each one of us—it’s just a question of what. It might be success, decency, reputation or standing in our community, it might be money, security, relationships, love, sex, power, acceptance, influence—the list is endless.

We all live in the pursuit of something—very often self. We may not go out and shoot those who get in our way, or who mess up our plans, but how do you react when something gets in the way of your dreams? Or to what lengths are you prepared to go to pursue your dreams?

We need to ask ourselves, does what we pursue make us better people? Or does it cultivate pride, deceit, anger, resentment, fear, or anxiety? They are indicators that we have a wrong primary goal. We are made to pursue something, but unless God takes the first place, then ultimately our desires will either defeat us, disappoint us or dissatisfy us. And en-route we will find some of the above character traits growing in our own lives. When be put God first and live for him, all other things find their rightful place, and he will not disappoint, defeat, or dissatisfy us. And as we follow him, he will change us for good.

What are you living for?

Mark Loughridge is the minister of Milford Reformed Presbyterian Church. He can be contacted on 074 9123961 or mark@milfordrpc.org. You can read more or listen online at www.milfordrpc.org

June’s Verse
I remember hearing of an elderly lady who heard some great learned man lecturing; afterwards she greeted him enthusiastically, “That was wonderful, I didn’t understand a word of it”!

It’s easy to do—to listen to something that’s over our heads, to feel inadequate, and to assume that it must therefore be wonderful. Sometimes it may well be, sometimes it isn’t and yet we can assume that the fault lies with us, since they must know what they’re talking about.

Perhaps you’ve read stuff from some of the new age variety talking about balancing energies with the universe, or the self-help books advocating claiming your own inner peace, eg. “When I claim my personal power then I can be at peace. When I am at peace I have the strength to claim my power”, or perhaps it’s from religious writers or preachers, and you’ve been left wondering, “I didn’t understand the half of that, but it must have been good”.

It doesn’t just happen when we don’t know much about a subject either. Prof. Scott Armstrong, of Pennsylvania University, did an experiment in which an actor posed as Dr. Myron R. Fox and delivered a lecture of ‘double talk’. He used material from a Scientific American article, mashed together with contradictory statements, things which didn’t follow logically, and an assortment of jokes and meaningless references to unrelated topics. The audience of professionals reported (through anonymous feedback) that “they found the lecture clear and stimulating.”

Why is it we do that? Why do we assume that if it is to be true or helpful it must be beyond our understanding?

There are issues about which it doesn’t really matter, but the issue where we often listen to unclear or even contradictory messages is that of eternal life—how does a person get to Heaven?

This month’s verse from the calendar answers this question in part. Many followers were abandoning Jesus, and he asks his disciples if they are going to go too, they reply:

“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” – John 6:68

These men knew that there was one place to get the answer; they knew that it was from Jesus. They knew that listening to his words, understanding them and trusting them was the key to eternal life. It’s not something to sub-contract out to preachers or gurus of whatever stripe, we need to go to Jesus, and to his words. Perhaps that’s why God has given us four accounts of Jesus’ life and words in the Bible. Let me encourage you to read them. It is to him that we must go, not to people who may impress us with their many words.

Mark Loughridge is the minister of Milford Reformed Presbyterian Church. He can be contacted on 074 9123961 or mark@milfordrpc.org. You can read more or listen online at www.milfordrpc.org

I see Deepak Chopra was speaking at the National Concert Hall last week. There was an interview with him in the Irish Times.

For those of you who don’t know who Chopra is—you mustn’t watch enough Oprah where apparently he is something of a favourite!—he is a medical doctor with Indian roots who has written 55 books on the mind, body and spirit.

It’s interesting that he has come to Ireland—it doesn’t surprise me, for we are ripe here for his message.

We live in a strange time—the more postmodern and technological we’ve become, the greater the yearning for spirituality of some description. It seems that the human psyche is hardwired for some sort of spiritual input.

People say of themselves, “I’m spiritual, but not religious”. This reflects the disillusionment people have with the established religions, particularly Christianity. They look for something that connects, something that has personal meaning and not empty forms or rituals.

In such an environment it is not surprising that eastern practices like those advocated by Chopra take off.

But are they really the answer? Take for example the increasingly popular practice of meditation.

Chopra advocates it saying:

“Meditation allows you to go past your mind and get in touch with your spirit. Eventually, it means the loss of fear and a gradual discovery of your true self.”

Meditation is commonly seen as an emptying of the mind, seeking a point where you are thinking of nothing, and so at true peace.

This stands in complete contrast to what the Bible talks of when it deals with meditation, transformation and peace. In Romans 12:2 Paul writes “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind”. Biblical Christianity is intensely mind centred. It isn’t about finding peace by “going past your mind” but by filling it with something.

Meditation requires something to meditate on—It is when we grasp and think through the implications of what Jesus Christ did in history in his life and at the Cross that we can find peace, hope, power, and forgiveness.

What we need to find is not so much our true selves, but a true relationship with God, for that will change us, beyond measure.

Is meditation the answer? Yes, but not the emptying of our minds but the filling of them with the deeply satisfying unchanging truths of God’s word.

Mark Loughridge is the minister of Milford Reformed Presbyterian Church. He can be contacted on 074 9123961 or mark@milfordrpc.org. You can read more or listen online at www.milfordrpc.org

Across Europe, more and more couples are shunning marriage in favour of “registered partnerships”. This has been particularly notable in France, where the number of people applying for these partnerships each year is closing in on the marriage figure. So why is this legislation proving so popular?

In short, because it provides the benefits of a traditional marriage while eliminating the drawbacks.

What are the benefits? It's summed up by a French lady who recently entered into such a partnership. “We just wanted to pay less taxes.” At least she's honest.

And what drawbacks does this arrangement manage to eliminate? In a word, commitment. Rather depressingly, advocates are quick to talk up is the ease with which these partnerships can be dissolved. Another key feature is the emphasis on “honesty and openness” at the expense of sexual fidelity.

Surely there's a problem here? This outlook is extraordinarily self centred – it's all about what “I”, rather than “we” can get out of it. “I want to enjoy tax breaks and a financial improvement But I don't want to be tied down - if my partner begins to bore me or loses their looks then at least I can disappear into the sunset.”

Not only is it self centred, it's also short sighted. Traditional marriages based on mutual commitment and sacrifice are surely far more satisfying and enjoyable, nevermind offering a far more suitable environment for raising a family, and greater assurance about the future.

Marriage is a gift from God, who delights in giving his creation good gifts – it's there for the good of mankind to bring happiness and delight, and to form the basis of stable family life. More than that, it also acts as an illustration – it shows us God's unfailing commitment to his people. He won't abandon us because he grows tired of us or because he finds a newer, better model. It shows us what God means when he describes himself as faithful.

Sadly, we're all to quick to abandon God's designs and do things our way. We dismiss the Bible as outdated and irrelevant. We think that in the 21st century, we know better than primitive people from a by-gone era. But we're only hurting ourselves. By ignoring God we ignore his wise counsel and the great gifts he has created for our good.

Ever heard of Paul and Rachel Chandler? You probably have, although you might not recognise the names. They're the couple who were kidnapped by Somali pirates last October. That's right – last October; as I write this they're in their 200th day of captivity.

Originally the pirates demanded a ransom of $7 million, although reports suggest they'll accept a fraction of that. However, that doesn't seem to matter as the British government is not prepared (at least officially) to make payments to kidnappers.

Obviously the Chandler's family have a very different point of view; they're prepared to pay whatever it takes to set the couple free. Perhaps at this point you're asking yourself the question – how much would I pay to secure my loved ones freedom?

Hopefully none of us ever find ourselves in that situation. Few of us can understand the anguish those involved must be facing as the months go by. However, according to the Bible, all human beings are held captive and in a predicament every bit as serious as the Chandlers. You see, God demands that payment be made for all our sin. That may sound cruel, but it isn't – it's the just and fair thing to do. God is simply too pure to ignore evil.

So what does it cost to pay for our sin? Blood has to be spilled, because God takes sin seriously. The good news is that the same God who demands payment also offers to provide it. That's why Jesus was sent to earth – to die in our place. Jesus Christ described himself as a ransom. He offers himself as payment.

This is an offer that is made to everyone, regardless of background, ethnicity or class. It's up to each individual to accept or ignore the offer.

Sadly, we have a tendency to try and pay the price of freedom ourselves. We go through life doing good and trying hard in a desperate bid to make up for our mistakes. But that's not enough – blood has to be spilled.

It comes down to a simple choice – either we pay this colossal cost, or Jesus pays it for us.

It's remarkable that the totally innocent one is prepared to pay the price for our wrongdoing. It would be a real tragedy for anyone to miss Jesus' offer and pay the price themselves.

May’s verse
It has been a week when, once again, we have had to face the intrusive spectre of death. When it is the death of a broadcaster who spoke to you in your own home or car every day somehow it seems more real, more immediate.

I suspect that the very nature of Gerry Ryan’s passing unsettles people because it was so ordinary—as I write this, the post-mortem results aren’t out—he didn’t appear at work, and was found dead in his home. It could have been us.

Once again we are reminded that we are more fragile and mortal than we perhaps care to think about. And although we are surrounded by death daily, there is something about it that should outrage us. We have to hold together these two realities: we will all die, and it is not natural.

Why do I say that it is not natural? Death is an intruder, an unwelcome guest in the universe. There is something deep inside us that rebels against its presence. We have a fundamental sense that this isn’t the way it is supposed to be. But is that just wishful thinking, a deeper echo of some primitive superstition that modernity hasn’t washed away?

The resurrection of Jesus Christ stands as proof of a life beyond the grave. And along with that, in his life he performed a series of miracles, establishing his credentials as the Son of God, but also demonstrating that he had the power to make things ‘the way they are supposed to be’. His resurrection and his raising to life of others are an indicator that death is not going to have the final say.

This month’s verse put it this way:

“Christ Jesus, has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel” – 2 Timothy 1:10.

What great news! Death has been destroyed, the intruder defeated; life and immortality are available. It doesn’t mean that Christians escape dying, but it does mean that for them death has lost its sting. The Bible talks about all men being raised, but only some to eternal life, for others it will be to eternal punishment.

This month’s verse tells us how to find such life. It is through the gospel of Jesus Christ that life and immortality can be had. That ‘gospel’ is the good news that Jesus offers to take your punishment in total, so that you can have life the way it’s supposed to be on the far side of death. Will you accept his offer?

Writing in the Letters section of the Irish times, Míceál Bolger humorously notes:

“Britain and the Netherlands demanded cash from Iceland, but overlooked one small detail—the Icelandic language does not contain the letter C”

Humour aside, who would have thought that our highly technological society could so easily grind to a halt? We are so used to making our plans—today we will go here, do this, then go here—and so used to them working out mostly without hitch, that we forget that we are not the omnipotent creatures we like to think we are.

In Job 37:5-7 we read:

“God's voice thunders in marvellous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that all men he has made may know his work, he stops every man from his labour.”

While it is ash rather than snow, God’s voice is certainly thundering as the ash circulates above us, disrupting travel. Many who made ‘definite’ plans have been frustrated and forced to take refuge in airports. God has once again stopped a large cross-section of humanity from its labour.

It’s not the first time this year that God’s voice has thundered, stopping man in his work, forcing us to rearrange our plans. Prolonged freezes, unexpected snowfalls, heavy rain, earthquakes, now the eruption of a little-known volcano, and modern man is seen to be not so self-sufficient.

Over the last number of weeks I’ve been preaching on the Old Testament book of Exodus. There we read of God bringing one of the world’s superpowers—Egypt—to a shuddering halt. He had warned and warned, but they refused to listen, and so he sent an escalating series of disasters to get their attention. The events of the last few months strike me as something similar.

As the 20th century closed and as the 21st century has progressed, we have placed unbounded faith in ourselves—despite all evidence to the contrary. A myriad of wars, a society creaking towards chaos, a global financial meltdown—man is not such a great arbiter of his destiny.

God has been shaking the foundations of our beliefs, whether it be in religious institutions, or in our own abilities. He has been trying to get our attention. What should we do? We need to give him our attention!

We need to humble ourselves, turn from our proud self-sufficiency to him, before he needs to turn up the volume another notch to get our attention.

Ok, so I know that newspapers like to make their headlines as punchy and provocative as possible, but the whole story bears this one out. From last week’s Independent:

“Axing came out of blue, says radio psychic”

According to the paper, “PSYCHIC Una Power, who hosted the 'Psychic Zone' programme on Dublin's 98 since November 1996, said she didn't see it coming when the station's management abruptly cut her hours and then cancelled the show after 12 years on air.”

While it’s not nice to see someone lose their job, does anyone else see the supreme irony in this whole thing? “I didn’t see it coming” – isn’t that the whole point of her job, to see what’s coming? Surely if anyone should be unsurprised at losing their job it should be a psychic! Perhaps she didn’t read her stars that morning—“Beware of nasty men in suits who say it’s all over”.

It reminds me of the incident when Kelvin MacKenzie, former editor of The Sun, found the newspaper’s astrologer had been recycling his predictions; he sacked him with a letter that began: “As you will no doubt have foreseen...”!

It’s easy to poke fun, but for many this is a serious business. People genuinely believe this stuff is true; they base their lives around the predictions and unfounded ramblings of these soothsayers.

But why do people pay any heed to this stuff? I think part of the reason is the failure of modernity’s promises—of a life that can be lived without beliefs in external powers. And part of the reason is the failure to leave the pagan past behind.

Life isn’t simply about what happens from day to day. Something deep within us tells us that we are made for more than that, that there is has to be meaning in the random events of daily life. Modernity has no answer, so people reach for the ancient mystical remedies.

But the answer isn’t to be found there either. The answer is to be found, not in irrational, impersonal superstitions, but in a rational, personal God, who appeared in time and history giving sufficient evidence of the truth of his claims. And with him we find meaning to the seeming randomness of life, guidance for the difficult decisions of life, and a certainty about the afterlife. Unlike any astrologer, nothing comes out of the blue to God. And unlike any astrologer he offers to give his own life so that your future can be secured.

(by Jonny McCollum)
An average person lies 4 times every day according to a recent survey. That’s 1460 lies each year. Truthfulness seems to be an all too precious commodity in our society.
It’s apparent in the North, where they’re gearing up for an election. Smiling candidates will soon look down from virtually every lamppost, TV schedules will fill up with coverage of debates, and column inches will be monopolised by analysis of key events.
So have the people across the border been gripped by election fever? In spite of media fixation, most people have little interest in the whole process. Voter apathy is becoming clear.
If there was an election in Ireland next month, how would you feel? Would you be determined to see Brian Cowen keep his job? Would you be excited by the prospect of change? Or would you be utterly indifferent?
Few of us get excited about politics and it’s easy to see why. Politicians have a serious image problem – they’re simply not trusted. The public perception is of men and women who are quite prepared to lie, backstab and cheat their way to power if necessary, with each candidate being more deceitful than the last.
In fact, many euphemisms for lying have been conceived in the world of politics – have you heard of someone being ‘economical with the truth’? Or telling a ‘terminological inexactitude’? Lying is part and parcel of politics.
Our view of politicians is mirrored in the rest of society. How much do you trust your neighbours? What about workmen and salespeople? Can you trust your own family? Undoubtedly there are many honest people living in Donegal, but we find it hard to believe others. We’ve had our fingers burnt too many times.
Thankfully there is someone we can trust. In the bible, God doesn’t use wordy expressions to try and justify deceit; he condemns it as strongly as possible. He hates lying because it goes against his own character – he is 100% truthful, 100% of the time.
When God makes a promise, he always keeps it, even at great cost to himself. We see a startling reminder of this each Easter as we think of Jesus dying on the cross. We can have total confidence about our salvation, not because of ourselves, but because of God’s character.
"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." (Romans 10:13)

What is Easter about? We know that it’s about Jesus and a cross—but what was it all for?

Throughout the Old Testament God set up a series of elaborate visual illustrations to teach us important lessons about himself. Some of them centred around the temple, sacrifices and the High Priest. In the temple was a room known as the Most Holy Place. It symbolised God’s place. It was closed off—God was utterly separate from his messed up creation.

Once a year, on the Day of Atonement, the people of God gathered at the temple where the High Priest offered a sacrifice for their sins. Then the High Priest, as the people’s representative, would enter into the Most Holy Place. Outside the people waited with bated breath. Would he/they be accepted or would he be struck down? Then, when the priest stepped out into the sunlight, they knew that everything was alright. God had forgiven their sin based on the sacrifice of another.

And that was only for their unintentional sins, because all through the year when they had broken God’s law they had to make the appropriate sacrifice for that sin. This was the catch-all sacrifice.

That’s how many people still think that we relate to God today. When you sin you need to make it up to God, either with sacrifices appropriate to the sin, or some general catch-all service. But how do you know if you’ve done enough?

But wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a simpler system? If there was a sacrifice so great that it covered all your sins, no matter how serious, so that you didn’t have to keep going back? The point of all those Old Testament illustrations was to create that very longing in us—a longing for a better way.

April’s verse comes from the book of Hebrews, a book dedicated to explaining that Jesus is that better way:

“He entered the Most Holy Place once for all by his own blood, having obtained eternal redemption” – Hebrews 9:12

It talks about Jesus entering, like the old High Priest, into God’s presence, with a sacrifice of such stunning worth—“his own blood”—that it would provide a forgiveness that would last forever. Calvary has unlocked the door to the Most Holy Place. Jesus brings us right into the presence of God. Elaborate sacrifice is no longer needed. Instead, Jesus has obtained the redemption (freedom from judgment) that we need. What we need to do, is go to him and ask him to pay for us so that we can have this great redemption.

Although Easter comes around every year, there is something in us drawn to the intensely majestic story of a man dying to save others. Gruesome as the crucifixion is, there is something magnetic about it and the events leading up to it—all the more as we find out what was going on. Why is it that this story of self-sacrifice gets more coverage than any other, for there have been many noble examples of sacrifice over the centuries?

Unlike other situations, something much deeper than self-sacrifice is going on at the cross. Its purpose and meaning can be seen in many places in scripture, but at the cross Jesus himself explains it. Suspended between heaven and earth on a rough wooden cross, amidst his agony, Jesus utters seven densely packed sayings. Dying words usually are important, all the more so when, as in this case, it takes colossal effort to hoist your body up to breathe and hence to speak. Each saying is a window on the crucifixion, revealing its meaning and significance.

These seven sayings demonstrate his mercy, forgiveness, his grace, the depths of his suffering, and his triumph. Central to these is his great cry of abandonment, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” which demonstrates that more than physical suffering was at stake here. He was being abandoned, so that we might never be abandoned. In essence they show us what salvation is about.

Last year we produced a CD based on these seven sayings with a brief reflection on each one. Perhaps you got one through your door. If so, why not have a listen to it again this Easter? If you would like a copy of the CD please get in touch, or you can listen on the internet at our website. Just go to www.milfordrpc.org and click on the ‘7 Sayings’ button on the left.

It’s designed to be used in the lead up to Easter, listening to one a day. Think of it as seven days with the seven sayings.

Author Garrison Keillor recalls family Thanksgiving dinners, where Uncle John usually asked the blessing on the meal. He thanked God for the food, for the blessings of the past year, but especially the cross. Keillor adds this powerful observation: “All of us knew that Jesus died on the cross for us, but Uncle John had never gotten over it.”

If Jesus is who he says he is, and did what the Bible says he did, then it’s something should think more and more about.

In 1990 it was estimated that 100 million baby girls were missing—victims of abortion, infanticide or neglect—sacrificed by parents who wanted a son. The Economist magazine (and website) has a chilling and sobering investigation of this phenomenon present particularly, but not exclusively, in many Asian countries.

A father is present at a birth in his home, sees his firstborn—a daughter—and cries in disappointment “Useless thing”. A midwife drops the baby into the slops bucket, head first. A journalist is restrained as she tries to intervene, her protest of “That’s a living child” is met with “It’s not a child, it’s a girl baby…girl babies don’t count.”

China has its one-child policy; there is a Hindu saying, “Raising a daughter is like watering your neighbour’s garden”—but it isn’t simply traditional preferences for sons, or draconian one-child policies that fuel this slaughter.

Also tied in is imaging technology which allows you to know the gender of your unborn child. Doctors in India have been using the sick but catchy slogan, “Pay 5,000 rupees today and save 50,000 rupees tomorrow” (the price of a dowry). In one hospital the only girls born after ultrasound scans were those mistakenly identified as boys, or who had a male twin. Technology, which has been lifesaving in some places, has become a death warrant for unborn baby girls in others.

Nor is it confined to the East. The preference for small families and the widespread ease of abortion in the West has left the door wide open for gendercide—the targeting and destruction of a baby simply because of its gender. Last year Sweden legalised the practice of sex-selection abortion, but in how many other places does it happen unofficially? It is a natural extension of the so-called ‘pro-choice’ argument.

This has serious consequences. In the next decade China is looking at 40 million young men for whom there are no brides, almost twice the number of all young men in France, Germany and Britain together. Since young males commit the majority of crime and violence, and since marriage has been a taming and settling ground for them, sociologists fear that these millions of men will prove a significant problem.

In addition, female suicide rates in these countries are higher than anywhere else—many feeling unable to live either with the failure to produce a son, or the knowledge that they have aborted or killed their baby girls.

What does God think of all this? Is he indifferent? Often in scripture he is described as the God of the fatherless—an idea that includes any helpless child. Male and female, both created in his image, are equally valuable to him. He is also a God who will come in frightening judgment on those who slaughter the innocent (Psalm 10, 94). He is not indifferent—he will judge, in his time. In the meantime he holds out the offer of forgiveness through his Son (who, ironically, people cast aside like an unwanted baby because he doesn’t fit in with their agenda).

Mark Loughridge is the minister of Milford Reformed Presbyterian Church.

(by Jonny McCollum)

Sometimes you think you’ve heard it all, and then the news manages to shock you further.

A South Korean couple were arrested last week by police investigating the death of their 3-month-old daughter. This helpless girl died of malnutrition due to being neglected by her parents who are part of a growing number of “gaming addicts”. They fed their daughter only once a day, in between marathon gaming sessions at an internet cafe. In a tragic irony their time was taken up nurturing a virtual girl on an online role playing game.

Surely this is just an isolated incident? Sadly not. Recently two men died after playing online practically non-stop for 50 and 86 hours respectively. It's hard to comprehend how something as harmless as a computer game could have such devastating consequences.

Here's a worrying thought – could we turn on the news in the future and hear of such a death in Donegal? Admittedly those three cases were extreme, but increasingly young Irish people are struggling to deal with this particular obsession.

I've read first hand accounts of the dramatic impact these games have had on people's lives. Self-confessed addicts explain how every minute of every day can be taken up with these games, with time spent meeting friends, studying and even washing or eating being pushed to the side to make way.

I've read of “gaming widows”, whose relationships have been ripped apart as they tried and failed to compete with a computer screen.

What drives someone to devote hour after hour to something so obviously unproductive? One theme keeps raising its head – escapism. In the virtual world we can be outrageously talented and stunningly beautiful. It's a place without dead end jobs and unfulfilling relationships. It's not hard to see the attraction.

We are surrounded by hurt and suffering. For some, their very existence is characterised by hopelessness. We may not have an interest in computer games, but we do like to divert our attention. This may involve gazing at the TV, playing sport or retail therapy. We have our different ways of getting away from it all.

Surely there's a better solution. Is being distracted from the bad stuff the best we can hope for? Instead of running away from the hopelessness of this broken world, perhaps we should turn to the one who sacrificed everything to give us hope.

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – Jesus

Do you ever look over life with regret? So many things you wish you could have done? Abilities you have never had the opportunity to develop, or even discover? Perhaps you feel that you haven’t had a fair chance at life, or that you have so much more to give, or opportunities you’ve missed out on. Perhaps responsibilities for children or aging parents have placed restrictions on you. Or perhaps your life has been irrevocably shaped by wrong done to you, and you look painfully back and wonder what might have been. Or it may have been sickness, or accident, or… the list is endless.

That sense of ‘the way things could have been’ can sneak over us if and when we get a moment to daydream. There’s something deep inside each of us that longs for there to be more to life than there is.

Or perhaps you have looked at moments in your life, moments of deepest pleasure, and wished that they would go on forever. But they either fade away into everyday life, or are rudely interrupted.

And we long for more. Is that longing just the tail-end of wishful thinking, of long forgotten but cherished dreams? I don’t think so. I believe that that longing is a God-given longing.

We weren’t made for a few short years. We were made for something grander, something richer, something more noble, for a time and a place where there would be no disappointment, no sickness, no cutting short of days.

This month’s verse tells us: “God has set eternity in the hearts of men” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

It isn’t wishful thinking; that longing is a God-given echo of what we were made for. We were made to enjoy an unending life in perfection. Every joy in this life is an echo of that perfection, every moment is a reminder to us of the unbroken stretches of eternity that lie ahead.

Next time you’re enjoying something beautiful, and find yourself thinking “I wish this could go on forever”, or next time you find yourself thinking “I wish I had another chance at life” – then remember forever is on offer.

That raises the question: Are we ready for that eternity? There is only one way to be ready—through Jesus, the eternal one who came into time and had pain placed in his heart, so that we could have eternity and joy placed in ours. Do you know him?

(by Jonny McCollum)
You’re stranded on a ski lift over 30 feet in the air and night is approaching. No-one knows that you’re stuck, and you have no mobile phone. As night arrives the temperature plummets to -18 degrees and the situation seems hopeless. If you jump, you’ll probably break your legs and freeze to death; if you stay on the lift you face a battle against hypothermia. What would you do?

This is exactly the situation Dominik Podolsky, a German snowboarder faced in the Alps recently when the ski lift he was riding was shut down for the night. As the hours went by and his cries for help went unnoticed he tried a different method of communication – fire.

Mr Podolsky had a lighter and several paper handkerchiefs, which he burned in a bid to be spotted. No-one noticed. Next, he burned a series of restaurant bills and business cards, but to no avail. Finally, with his limbs beginning to go numb, and as he struggled to stay awake, he began to ignite the cash from his wallet.

Six hours after getting stuck, the 22 year old was eventually rescued, but not before the fire had consumed the last of his money.

His story had a happy ending, but it came at a cost. In order to ensure his survival, Mr Podolski had to make a difficult sacrifice. If you were in his situation, could you bring yourself to burn your hard earned cash?

Of course you could! 120 euro is a small price to pay for life. All of us would take the steps this snowboarder took, because only a fool would value their wallet above their life.

But maybe we’re not as rational as we like to think. According to the Bible, we’re stuck, night is fast approaching, and doom is imminent. Yet the hope of life is held out – but often we miss it. Why? Partly because we value other things too highly. Our problem is that we have put ourselves and our interests above God. We need to reverse that and accept the offer of forgiveness that Jesus holds out.

The offer Jesus makes is literally a matter of life and death, yet it can be crowded out by the busyness of life. It’s a real tragedy that many never give this offer the consideration it deserves.

Perhaps we can value our wallets (or anything else) above our lives after all.

I wonder how Jerry Flannery feels today. He's been looking forward to the 6 Nations for months, he's put in hours of backbreaking work on the training field, and after 2 matches his involvement may be over. All because of a split second of madness. As I write this, Flannery faces the possibility of a lengthy suspension ruling him out of the tournament.

And what about Welshman Andy Powell? His drunken antics on a golf buggy have brought a premature end to his campaign. I'm sure these two men would love to turn back time and put things right. They'd give anything to be able to walk out for their country next weekend, but they'll almost certainly be absent.

A very different absence caught my eye during the first round of matches. Euan Murray sat out Scotland's opener against Wales, not because of injury or ill discipline, but out of choice. The Scottish prop voluntarily sacrificed the opportunity to play for his nation because it's match was on a Sunday. Murray put his religious convictions above his country and his career.

Why would someone who has dedicated so much of his time to the sport spurn the chance to do what many of his peers can only dream of? Let's hear what Murray has to say. Speaking to the Guardian, he said:

“Ultimately rugby's not what fuels my happiness in life”

This man has tasted success and experienced the prestige, wealth and glitz that are part and parcel of being a prominent sportsman. And what's his verdict? They're like shiny bubbles. Murray explains:

“They're bubbles that appear perfectly spherical, all the colours of the rainbow. They're bright and shiny and light as a feather, and you chase them because it's good fun, but the minute you get them they burst and they're empty.”

We're fixated with chasing the dream – we want fame and fortune, we want to be popular, we want to be the best. Most of us will never fulfil these desires, and even if we do history tells us they won't bring lasting happiness. For that most elusive dream we need to look somewhere else.

Where can we find real happiness? In the same place as Euan Murray. Jesus Christ, died so international sportstars like Euan Murray and average joes like you and me can find a happiness that nothing can take away, and that outweighs all the shiny bubbles this life has to offer.

(By Jonny McCollum)
Nostalgia’s a big business. The internet is teeming with clips of kid’s TV shows from decades gone by, websites dedicated to yesterday’s toys, and campaigns to resurrect seemingly-forgotten confectionary.
Sometimes it’s nice just to remember how things used to be. For many, childhood was a happy time: free from bills, hassle and responsibility. But things change.
Change can be unnerving. Ask anyone who’s recently moved to a new area. Ask the thousands of people who have lost their livelihoods because of the changing economy. Ask the countless patients who have received devastating news from a doctor.
It’s a fact of life – things change. Our deeply held dreams and everything we hold dear can be shattered in the blink of an eye. Perhaps that’s why we’re so nostalgic – at least nothing can take away our precious memories.
Where can we turn for help when things change for the worse? To our politicians? They’re always changing. So often they get a taste for power and a generous expenses account – and the position changes them.
What about our families? In an ideal world they would love us unconditionally and always look out for us no matter what. But this isn’t an ideal world. Divorce rates tell us that much. Sadly, even our nearest and dearest can change to become almost unrecognisable from the people we used to know.
Where can we turn then? The verse on the calendar this month offers some hope.
“From everlasting to everlasting, you are God (Psalm 90:2)”
The writer of this song looked back through history, he examined the evidence, and he reached a conclusion – “God hasn’t changed. In years gone by, He was faithful to His people, and He is still faithful today.”
Several thousand years have passed since this song was written, and the world has been transformed. Yet God is still the same – He still loves His people, He still has their best interests at heart and He still keeps His word.
In fact, we have even more cause than the writer to celebrate God’s faithfulness because we know even more about His love - Jesus Christ was born into this world to be a servant. He gave His life to serve His people and to rescue them from the devastating effects of sin.
Things change, but God doesn’t. What we need then in a changing world is a relationship with the unchanging God through Jesus Christ.

It was a weekend of tragedy in the county, not least on the roads. Firstly, let me extend sympathy to the grieving families in Carrigart, Ramelton and Bunbeg. But such is the nature of life that by the time this column is printed heartbreak and hurt will have been stamped indelibly across the lives of others.

Where do we find help when tragedy strikes? Let me point you to the familiar words of Psalm 23, also known as ‘The Lord is my Shepherd’. If you have a Bible near to hand I would encourage you to read them. I want to comment simply on three phrases.

“He makes me lie down … He restores my soul” – Tragedy tears us apart and leaves us broken and hurting in the innermost recesses of our lives. Sleep becomes difficult, a place where memories haunt us and our tears are the loneliest. The ancient songwriter tells us that God is a God who restores souls. What beautiful imagery – it calls to mind an artist tenderly and carefully piecing together a damaged masterpiece. There is a God you can go to who will restore your soul with such care and tenderness, and in doing so you will find peace even to lie down and sleep.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death … you are with me” – Part of tragedy’s agony is the loneliness it brings. Each person affected feels the pain differently, and so even within a family people can feel isolated. The songwriter tells us from his own experience that in the dark valleys of life he has found a companion, a guide who has been there before, and who knows the hurt and the pain and the loneliness. He is pointing us to Jesus Christ, the one who has gone right through the valley of death and who offers companionship in every dark valley.

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies” – In these words we see a God who provides strength and sustenance even in the hardest of times. When the enemies of pain, loss and grief surround us the songwriter tells us that God will provide from the deep resources of his strength.

In this ancient song we find that although the pain does not magically disappear, the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ, offers to come to us in our loss and to go through it with us. Whatever your hurt I pray that you will look to and find help from the God who restores, who accompanies and who sustains.

'A week is a long time in politics.' One of the most oft used clichés in the sometimes cliché ridden world of politics. It's true though – political fortunes can change dramatically in the space of 7 days, a shoo-in for election can quickly become a no-hoper, today's hero can become yesterday’s man.

If a week is a long time, what about a year? Last January Barack Obama took to Capitol Hill to become the 44th President of the United States. But he was more than just a president; he was the man who was going to put things right.

He was going to usher in a new era of economic prosperity and improved world relations. He was going to heal the wounds of America's racist past. And he wasn't George Bush.

On that cold January morning, optimism couldn't have been higher. Excited cheers greeted every wave to the crowd, tears of joy ran down onlookers' faces.

What a difference a year makes.

The economy is still in bad shape, Guantanamo bay is still open, and thousands of American troops are still at war.

And now the Democrats are licking their wounds after a humiliating election defeat.

I feel sympathy for the President. He's a talented and charismatic leader, but he's not super human. Expectations were unrealistic.

It's probably not his fault, but many Americans feel let down. They had waited decades for a leader to right the wrongs of history.

It's not unlike 1st century Israel. Jesus Christ sparked similar optimism, and yet many if not most were disappointed. This was the man they had been waiting for. This was the man who would throw off the shackles of the Roman Empire and make the nation great again.

How let down they must have felt as Jesus breathed his last – battered, bruised and helpless on a Roman cross. The dream was over.

And yet by dying, Jesus made a change more profound and wide reaching than any politician ever will. As He hung on the cross, Jesus was punished for wrongdoings of His people.

He made it possible for the ordinary man to approach God, because all who ask can be forgiven. Jesus took the punishment, so everyone who asks can be set free from the tyranny of sin.

In 100 years, Barack Obama will be consigned to history textbooks. 2000 years after his death, Jesus Christ is still making a real difference.

Happy New Year!

Like last year, our church has been giving out a calendar around Milford. It’s our way of saying Happy New Year and pointing you to God’s word. This year’s calendar is all about eternity, and the life which God gives which is eternal life.

There’s something deep inside each of us that longs for there to be more to life than there is. Perhaps we feel that we haven’t had a fair chance at life, or we feel that we have so much more to give, or that there are opportunities we’ve missed out on. And we long for more. That longing is a God given longing, and over the course of the year we will be exploring it.

January’s verse is one of my favourites. It’s found in John 10:28, where Jesus says, “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no-one can snatch them out of my hand.”

What I like about this verse can be summed up under three words: gift, certainty, safety

Gift: Jesus says that this great longing in our hearts for more, for a life that is the way it is supposed to be, is met by him. He gives it as a gift; that means it isn’t something we earn, or even deserve. It’s not what church you’re born into, or what religion, or how well you behave that gets you eternal life. Instead it is a gift that Jesus gives—other places in the Bible tell us that he gives this gift to those who come to him in sorrow for sin, and trusting him for his gift of eternal life.

Certainty: As we become increasingly aware of how uncertain our world is we long for a certainty about life. This life that Jesus offers has a colossal certainty about it. “They will never perish” – this isn’t directed at super holy saints, but at anyone who comes to him. Certainty isn’t the product here of pride, but of trust in his great gift. Here is the offer of eternal life that is a cast iron certainty, not a tenuous hope.

Safety: There is something touching about seeing a young child completely at ease in their father’s hands. They may be balanced seemingly precariously on their father’s shoulders, but the child is happily bouncing along giggling, because they know that their father is holding on. That’s the imagery evoked by these words, “no-one can snatch them out of my hand”. Its one of safety, and because the life is eternal it is eternal safety. But more than that, it’s a safety in this life for eternal life. He will keep us safe until we get there. Nothing can snatch those who have put their trust in Christ out of Christ’s hand.

Let me invite you, if you haven’t already done so, to come to Jesus seeking forgiveness and asking him for this gift of eternal life. Ask him to transform you, and to give you this new life that changes, not only our future, but changes us in the present.

With the publication of the Murphy Report at the end of 2009 the ugly subject of abuse was once again in the spotlight. But clerical abuse is only the tip of the iceberg. 29% of abuse victims are abused by close family, and 60% are abused by someone close to the family. The problem is far wider than often we want to recognise. And more people are wrestling with the trauma of abuse.

An article this length is too short to give detailed help on living with abuse, but let me say 3 things:

Justice: Something deep within us yearns for justice. We can’t simply let the past be past, and move on. Or forgive and forget, as some would put it. But confrontation is rarely satisfying; following the legal channels rarely provides long-term satisfaction. So where do we turn to, particularly if forgiveness hasn’t been sought, or the hope of earthly justice is gone?

What if you could have confidence that one day justice would be done? That is the assurance God gives. God is a God of justice who will open up the great records of our deeds, who will leave no evil unpunished. He is a God who will demand the full price for every wrong act. Though it is delayed, it will come. Trusting this enables you to deal with the resentment, and to know that you can leave it in God’s hands. He will deal with it.

Meaning: Memories linger and resurface unbidden. Part of the reason is that the mind is searching for meaning and purpose in the pain. Talking to someone is good because it helps allay fears, and it can put to rest troublesome questions. Discipline is also required to keep our minds from jumping back constantly into the same old tracks. But yet, where do we find meaning in it? Can we find a good purpose amidst the pain? As a pastor, the only place I can point to is to God’s word where we see that God has the power, and the willingness to bring good out of the bleakest of situations. We need to keep taking our minds there.

Cleansing and Acceptance: When we have been sinned against it leaves a stain on our lives, something that often makes us feel dirty and second rate. Not only that, but at the heart of much abuse lies the issue of insecurity, the desire to be wanted and loved—and after abuse, the feeling of “Who would want anything to do with me?”. The insistent and wonderful answer of the Bible is that almighty God offers to cleanse us not only from sins that we have committed, but from those committed against us. And he wants us, and will accept us and love us, not as second-class citizens, but as his own precious and beloved children.

Much, much more could be said, but these are pointers to where I believe the deepest and most lasting help can be found.